4 Fonts walk into a bar and the barman says "GO on! Get out! We dont want your TYPE in here!"
This joke was submitted by Big Papa Smurf on 24-Apr-2002
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A man goes into a bar carrying a peice of tarmac under his arm. "A pint for me," he says to the barman "and (pointing to the tarmac) one for the road!"
This joke was submitted by Big Papa Smurf on 24-Apr-2002
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Duck walks into a hardware store and says "do you have ne gwapes?" the guys says no and the duck leaves. the next day the duck comes back and the same guy is there the duck asks "Do you have ne gwapes?" the guys says no again. next day again the duck askes the guy "do you have ne gwapes?" this time the guys says "no and if you ask me that again i will staple your feet to the floor." the next day the duck comes back and this time askes "do you have ne staples?" the guy says "no" then the duck askes "do you have ne gwapes?'
This joke was submitted by Jennifer on 4-Mar-2002
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Two men walks in to a bar... dont you think the second one would have seen it.
This joke was submitted by James Tobin on 3-Dec-2001
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A string walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Sorry, we dont serve strings here" so the next day, the string comes back. He stops right outside the door and starts twisting and turning and writhing around, then walks in. The bartender says, "Aren't you the string that walked in here?" The string says "Nope, frayed knot!"
This joke was submitted by Spoonman on 30-Nov-2001
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A guy walks into a tattoo parlor and begins to look around, he notices the different pictures on the wall. He then asks the tattooist,"You do all of these?" The tatooist replies,"Yeah,all of them on the wall." The guy begins to tell the tattooist that he would like to have a tattoo. The tattoist asks to the guy,"Which one would you like," while pointing at the wall. The guy then says,"No, I have one of my own." The guy then pulls out a hundred dollar bill and tells the tattooist to make the bill. The tattoist then questions where he would like to place the tattoo. The guy then whips out his prick and shows where he wants it. The tattooist says,"Okay, but why?" The guys says that he has three reasons for this. While making 1/3 of the tattoo the tattooist asks,"Out of curiousity why do you want the tattoo on your jimmy. The guy begins to explain,"Well, I like to see my money." The tattooist says,"Good answer." When the tattoo is 2/3 finish, he agains asks, "Out of curiousity, what is the second reason?" The guy replies,"Well I like to play with my money." the tattooist says,"Okay, I can understand that." When the guy is done with the tattoo he begins to asks, "Okay, what is the last reason?" The guy answers,"My wife likes to blow my money, lets see her blow this."
This joke was submitted by Sloppy Sal on 5-Mar-2001
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A man walks into a bar with a giraffe at his side. He orders a few drinks, and after about twenty drinks the giraffe passes out. The man gets up, and as he's about to walk out of the bar, the barmen shouts, hey, don't leave that lyin' 'ere. The man turns around and says: It's not a lion it's a giraffe!
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 10-Mar-2000
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| A man walks into an ice cream store and asks the employee what flavors he has. In a rasping, almost inaudible voice he says "I... have... chocolate... strawberry... and vanilla." "Say," the man says "Do you have laryngitis?" "No!" the employee chokes, "Just... chocolate... strawberry... and vanilla."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000
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| A mushroom walks into a bar, and the bar tender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom replies, "Aw, c'mon. I'm a fungi"
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000
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