A guy walks into a bar all bummed out and orders a double. "Whats the problem, pardner?" says the bartender. "I think my roommate might be gay" the guy says. The bartender says "What makes you think that?" and the guy says "cause his dick tastes like shit!"
This joke was submitted by dannyboy on 21-May-2001
|
Man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for three shots of vodka. Bartender asks him what's wrong? The guy says, "I just found out my brother's gay." The next day the man walks in and again orders three shots of vodka. Again, the bartender wonders what has happened? "I just found out my son is gay." The next day it's the same three shots for this guy and the bartender asks the guy, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The guys takes his shots, looks at the bartender and says, "Yeah, my wife."
This joke was submitted by OSH kosh b'gosh on 27-Feb-2001
|
| A stoner walks into a bar and sees a sign on the wall that says, "Handjobs $10, Ham sandwich $5". He walks up to this beautiful red head that is working behind the bar and asks, "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" She smiles and replies,"Yes I am". He says, "Well wash your damn hands, and make me a ham sandwich!"
This joke was submitted by Jason Street on 7-Feb-2001
|
A man walks into a bar and see's an older man sitting at a table with a miniature piano in front of him. He walked over to the table and noticed that there was also a little man playing the small piano. He asked the guy, "Where'd ya get that?" The man replied, "There's a genie outside granting wishes." So immediatly the man walked outside and found the genie. He wished for one million bucks to be waiting for him in the bar. When he
walked back into the bar, he found a million ducks all over the bar. He stormed over to the older guy with the piano and said, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" The older guy said in return, "That genie must be hard of hearing. Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist??!"
This joke was submitted by Wrigley on 14-Jan-2001
|
| A mushroom walks into a bar, bartender says "Hey buddy we don't serve your kind here!" Mushroom says "Whats the matter I'm a FUN GUY!
This joke was submitted by Jill C on 29-Sep-2000
|
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
This joke was submitted by JUSTIN COOKE on 2-Apr-2000
|
There's a guy in a bar, and he chugs a beer, jumps out the window, then a few moments later comes back in and says "Bartender, gimme another beer!" So the bartender gives him another beer, the guy drinks it, jumps out the window, and a few moments later comes back in again. He says "Bartender, gimme another beer!" So the bartender does, the guy drinks it, jumps out the window, then a few moments later comes back in again. Another guy was watching him and asks him, "How do you do that?" The guy replies "It's simple physics. Drink a beer, jump out the window, and the light-weight beer will make you fall like a feather." So the other guy says, "Bartender, gimme a beer!" The bartender does, the other guy chugs it, and jumps out the window. A few seconds later, you hear a SPLAT outside. The bartender says to the first guy, "Superman, you can be a real asshole when your drunk!"
This joke was submitted by Nikole Takeuchi on 1-Apr-2000
|
| Three pieces of string walk into the bar and the first one says to the barman, "Can I have a drink?". The barman asks, "Are you a piece of string?" The piece of string says, "Yes". "Sorry, I don't serve string here", says the barman. The second piece of string asks for a drink but he gets the same reply. So the third piece of string ties himself up and ruffles up his hair and says to the barman, "Can I have a drink?" The barman asks him, "Are you a piece of string?". The piece of string replies, No, I'm afraid not! (a frayed knot)
This joke was submitted by Ryley on 29-Mar-2000
|
| A man walks up to the bar with a crocodile and asks the barman if he serves politicians. The barman says, "Yes, we serve politicians". The man says, "Okay, I'll have a pot for me and me mate will have a politician!"
This joke was submitted by Ryley on 29-Mar-2000
|
A duck walks into the bar and says, "Do you have any peanuts?" The bar tender replies "No, we only serve drinks here!"
The days to follow the duck continues to ask the same question. One day the bar tender says, "If you ask me one more time, I will nail your beak shut!" The duck comes in the next day and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bar tender replys "No!" The duck say "Do you have any peanuts?"
This joke was submitted by Carlos Botecas on 19-Mar-2000
|
|
|
