a man walks into a bar and grill.
ouch! sizzle!
This joke was submitted by marlowe on 27-Jan-2003
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| What did the 3 legged dog say as he walked into the bar? I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw.
This joke was submitted by Ronni on 12-Oct-2002
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guy walks into a bar and the barman says "alright mate can i get you a drink?" " yeah i'll have a lager please" says the guy! the barman happilly says "that'll be £2.10 please, the guy looks at the barman, "no, you said can i get you a drink, and thus offering to pay fr it" "no man, i'm the barman, you pay me for drinks" "look i could take this further if you want" "f"@$% off, drink up and get out your barred!!" the guy drinks up and leaves. Two months later the guy walks into the same bar, tha barman looks up and says "oi, your that guy i barred a couple of months ago" the guy looks confused "no, i've never been here before , i'm new in town" "well" says the barman "you must have a double" "yeah, bacardi and coke".
This joke was submitted by euan mckee on 16-Mar-2002
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A man walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots and the bartender says whats the matter the man replys "I just found out my oldest son is gay.The next day the same man enters the bar and asks for another 10 shots the bartender says whats the matter now, the man replies i just found out my youngest son is gay. The next day the man walks in and orders his 10 shots and the bartender says doesn't anyone in your family like pussy, the man replies aparently my wife does.
This joke was submitted by Jason Gingrich on 11-Jan-2002
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A man walks into a gay bar and asked for a drink and a ride home. 2 gay guys come up to him and say they can give him a ride home. While they where in the car the straight guy says"I got to fart" the two gay guys say they can fart on command. the first gay guy leans over and farts and it sounds like ffffff the 2nd gay leans over and hs sounds like sssssss The stright guy leans over and lets a ripper out. The 2 gays turn to look at him and say "Virgin"!
This joke was submitted by camdaman on 13-Dec-2001
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A man walks into a bar, he's got a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender looks at him funny and says "hey, why do you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The man replies "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
This joke was submitted by Battybaby on 27-Nov-2001
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There was a priest a ribbi and a grasshopper. They all walked into a bar and the bartender said "what is this a joke?"
This joke was submitted by millie on 28-Aug-2001
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A guy is in the bar and has been sitting there for a half an hour just staring at his drink, when a big hairy guy walks up, and drinks it. The hairy guy says, "What are you going to do about that?" The guy says, "Nothing. I've been having a terrible day. First I got fired, and when I got home, my wife was there with another man, on the way over here a big truck splashed mud on me and ruined my clothes. So I decided to commit suicide, and I can't even do that, since you just drank my poison!"
This joke was submitted by Firedog745 on 12-Aug-2001
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A guy walks into a bar in Texas
and orders a white
wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting
to see some wimp. The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around
here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa." The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a
taxidermist?" The guy says nervously, "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay
boys, he's one of us!"
This joke was submitted by Tracy Nerau on 9-Aug-2001
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this guy walks into a bar and says i bet you five dollars i can touch my tongue to my right eye. the bartender didn't belive it so he said ok the guy took out his glass eye and touched it to his tongue and got five dollars the next day the same guy comes in and says i'll bet you five more dollars that i can do it with my left eye so he takes his other glass eye out and touches it to his toung and got five more dollars the guy said i will give you a chance to get your money back i bet i can pee from all the way across the room into a shotglass without spilling a drop the bartender goes ok so that guy unzips his fly and pees all over the place and not a drop in the glass the bartender goes ha ha you owe me ten dollars the guy looks at him and says i may owe you ten bucks but i betted them guys over there five hundred dollars i can make you clean up my pee with a smile on your face
This joke was submitted by bradley mullins on 29-May-2001
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