3 nuns died and went to heaven. when they got there they had to answer a question from God to enter the gates.The 1st nun got asked,"who was the 1st man alive?" She said "That's easy, Adam""Well done" said God and she went through the gates. The 2nd nun got asked, "Who was the 1st woman alive?" She said "That's another easy one, it's Eve". The 3rd nun was told that her question had to be harder. "Fair enough" she said. Her question was "what was the 1st word Eve said to Adam?" She thought about this for a while."Thats a hard one", she said."well done" said God. "That is correct,you may enter!"
This joke was submitted by Kati Jones on 23-Dec-2001
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Did you Eve know was a carpenter ? She made Adams banana stand!
This joke was submitted by Ron on 21-Oct-2001
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jesus, noah and an an old ,old man where playing golf one day in hevan. jesus hits his ball into the water. he walks on the water and hits it into the hole. noah hits the ball into the water also, so he builds an ark and hits the ball into the hole. the old, old man hits the ball and it bounces of a lawn gnome, a lawn famingo, a tree, and a light pole, then it lands in the hole.
noah says to jesus,"man, your dad always wins..."
This joke was submitted by andrea nicole on 12-Aug-2001
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| An Amish family decided one day that they would go to one of these so called shopping malls and see what all the fuss was about. As the mother looked around the mall the little boy and his dad sttod starring at these two metal doors in the wall. Every few seconds lights would flash and bells would sound and a few people would step through the doors as a few people stepped out. Then more lights and bells and the doors where shut. As the two stood there amazed at these doors a little old eighty year old woman stepped up to the doors and when the lights flashed and bells rang she stepped inside. A few seconds later more bells and lights and the doors slid open again and a beutiful 25 year old blond walks out of the doors. Without another word the Amish father looks down at his son and says, go get your mother.
This joke was submitted by James on 1-Aug-2001
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| A man was walking across a sand bank when he got cut off by the tide. A local fishermen rowed out to him but got sent away with the words "I HAVE FAITH IN MY GOD, HE WILL SAVE ME!". Soon the rising water carried him out to sea so the fisherman called the coastguardsand they sent out the lifeboat to him but they too were sent away with the same "I HAVE FAITH IN MY GOD, HE WILL SAVE ME!" At long last a passing liner spotted the man in the water and the crew went to rescue him but they were also sent away with the same "I HAVE FAITH IN MY GOD, HE WILL SAVE ME!" Eventually cold and tired the man slid below the surface and drowned and went to heaven where he met St. Peter at the gates. He said to St. Peter, "You know how strongly I believe in the Lord but why did He not save me? "Save you?" said St. Peter, "We sent you a rowing boat, a lifeboat and an ocean liner! What more do you expect?
This joke was submitted by RUSS on 2-Sep-2000
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One hot day when the priest was out of town, two nuns decided to suprise him by scrubbing the church. The two sisters became so hot, they decided to take off their habits and work completely in the buff. Not long after, there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?", the naked nuns asked nervously." It's the blind man", a mans voice replied. "We may as well just let him in", the more practical minded of the two sisters decided. They opened the door, and an old man walked in carrying a long ,narrow box. He turned to the two naked nuns and smiled. "For nuns you've got nice tits". Before the mortified nuns could answer, he tossed the box down and asked, "Where does the priest want me to hang these blinds?"
This joke was submitted by john on 16-Apr-2000
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The minister learned that the village drunk would attend Sunday's sermon so he decided to lecture on the evils of alcohol. He illustrated his point by producing a worm & placing it into a glass of water where the worm swam happily about. Then the minister placed the worm into a glass of whisky and the worm curled up and died. Directing his gaze toward the drunk the minister posed the question, "What lesson can we learn from this demonstration?" The drunk instantly jumped to his feet and declared aloud, "If you drink lots of whiskey you won't get worms!"
This joke was submitted by anon on 1-Apr-2000
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| So you think your life is bad? Just think how bad the life of an egg is... You only get laid once!
You only get eaten once!
It takes 4 minutes to get hard, 2 minutes to get soft.
You have to share a box with 11 other guys.
And the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Now don't you feel better? Today isn't so bad after all...
This joke was submitted by Lisa Rowe on 26-Mar-2000
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There are three men, John, Peter, and Ron. They are all driving along in a car when they have an accident and die.
At the pearly gates, John meets
St. Paul. St. Paul says to John, "John, you had a few faults in your life, you
get to have a baboon chained to your ankle for eternity". "Ok", John says. A
few minutes later they are in heaven and John is walking around with
St. Paul. John sees Peter and he runs up to him. John sees that a huge gorilla is chained to his ankle. John turns to St. Paul: What happened to him?
St. Paul answers him by saying, "He had a few faults in his life". Later on John sees Ron, and he sees Cindy Crawford chained to his ankle. John turns to St. Paul and says, "Now how come he gets Cindy Crawford and we are stuck with baboons and gorillas?"
St. Paul says, "No, Cindy Crawford had a few faults in her life..."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 10-Mar-2000
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| A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8." The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?" St. Peter tells him, "Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here.
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 22-Jan-2000
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