| Two men were having an awfully slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of them managed to get into every sand trap, lake, and rough on the course. They didn't bother to wave the men on through, which is proper golf etiquette. After two hours of waiting and waiting, one man said, "I think I'll walk up there and ask those gals to let us play through." He walked out the fairway, got halfway to the ladies, stopped, turned around, and came back, explaining, "I can't do it. One of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress! Maybe you'd better go talk to them." The second man walked toward the ladies, got halfway there and, just as his partner had done, stopped, turned around and walked back and said, "Small world."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000
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| The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well... as a matter if fact, Yes!" she replied. "I have been divorced three times."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 1-Jan-2000
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| Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled...isn't she adorable?" Friend: "But your kid didn't smile." Father: "Kid?, I was talking about the nurse."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 1-Jan-2000
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| A hearse was going slowly down the street followed by a woman leading a large dog. Behind the woman and the dog came another hearse. Then behind the second hearse were 200 women walking. A man standing on the corner watched this procession and without being able to contain himself any longer approached the lady with the dog and asked what is happening. She told him, "My dog killed my husband and then killed my mother-in-law". The man eyes lit up and he asked, "May I borrow your dog for a couple of days?" The woman replied, "Get in line."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 31-Dec-1999
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| A wife woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant?" "Yes", she replied "And remember how your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, tonight I would have been released!"
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 31-Dec-1999
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| A man and his son go to the corner store to get a few things. While in the store the son sees a rack of condoms that are sold two to a pack. The boy asks his father, "Dad, why are these sold two at a time?" The father says, "Son, thats for when you are in High School, one's for Friday and one for Saturday." The next day they return to the store and the boy finds a rack that has condoms that are sold six to a pack. The boy asks his father, "Dad, why are these sold six at a time?" The father says, "Son, thats for when you are in college, two are for Friday, two are for Saturday and two are for Sunday." The next day they go back to the store and now the boy finds a rack with condoms sold twelve to a pack. The boy asks his father, "Dad, why are these sold twelve at a time?" The father says, "Son, thats for when you get married, one is for January, one is for February, one is for March..."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 31-Dec-1999
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