When I married my wife she had hair that hung to her ass and tits that stuck straight out!!
Now her tits hang to her ass and her hair sticks straight out!!!!
This joke was submitted by Sybil on 3-May-2002
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| One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..." "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 24-Apr-2002
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| My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship.
She goes Tuesday's, I go Friday's.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in B.C.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a
long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said,
"There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver
said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember....Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...I said, 'Dust!"
15. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created
woman... since then, neither God nor man has rested.
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 23-Apr-2002
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A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.
"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right."
He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," she said.
With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!"
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 23-Apr-2002
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| Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to!
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 23-Apr-2002
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| Q: What's life like without women? A: A pain in the arse!!!
This joke was submitted by Ian on 29-Dec-2001
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there was a man who thought his wife was cheating on him so on the way to work he stopped at the pet shop to buy a talking parrot.
The shop owner asked why he wanted a talking parrot so the man said he thought his wife was cheating on him so the man said ah I have a very special parrot for you follow to the back.
When they got there he said that will be £50,000 snd the man said £50,000 for a parrot it hasn`t even got any legs but the shop owner said ah this is a special parrot it holds it`s self up by it`s dick. so the man paid him the £50,000 and took the parrot home then went to work.
When he got home he asked the parrot what had happened and the parrot said
The post man came and started undressing your wife
then your wife started undressing the post man
then i fell off my perch because i got a stiffy.
This joke was submitted by Alex Jones on 11-Dec-2001
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what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Answer: nothing, she obviously doesn't listen!!!
This joke was submitted by tom on 11-Nov-2001
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jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pael of water stupiod jill forgot the pill so now theve got a daugther.
This joke was submitted by Elliot on 11-Jun-2001
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| When you were little did you ever blow bubbles? Well, he's back in town and wants your number
This joke was submitted by Nicole Niswonger on 10-May-2001
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