One day, in Little Johnny's class, the
teacher was talking about stories that have a moral ending. She asked if anyone had an example. Little Johnny raised his hand and with a sigh, the teacher said "Okay Little Johnny, please give an example of a moral story".
Litttle Johnny replied " When my dad was in the Gulf War, he was stationed in Kuwait. One afternoon, he drank 2 cases of beer. Deciding that 2 cases wasn't enough, so he left the base and bought 4 more cases of beer. He drank one case on the way back to the base. He then comadeered a plane, armed with only his side arm, a pocket knife, and 3 cases of beer, he flow the plane across enemy lines into Iraq. He drank yet another case of beer along the way. He jumped out of the plane without a parachute and on the way down, he drank his second-to-last case of beer. When he hit the ground, he was surrounded by fifty well-armed enemy troops.
He then took his pistol and shoot 25 soldiers. He ran out of bullets, so he opened up his pocket knife and killed 15 more enemy soldiers. When his knife became dull, he throw it away and killed the last 10 men with hand-to-hand combat, all the while drinking his final case of beer."
The teacher, somewhat horrified, said "Alright, Little Johnny, your story was abit graghic, but what was the moral of the story?"
Little Johnny answered "The moral of the story is 'don't f*%# with dad when he's been drinkin'".One day, in Little Johnny's class, the teacher was giving an oral spelling exam. She called a girl named Kimmie, and asked her to spell the word 'embarrassed' and use it in a sentence. Kimmie responded "embarrassed, e-m-b-a-r-r-a-s-s-e-d. Little Johnny must be 'embarrassed' by his drunk excuse of a father'". The teacher spoke up and said "Kimmie, you know that isn't a very nice thing to say.
"Little Johnny, would you like have the next word?" He said yes. "Little Johnny, your word is 'dictated'. Little Johnny responded "'dictated'. d-i-c-k-t-a-i-t-e-d'. Tomorrow morning, you can ask Kimmie what my 'dictated' liked".
This joke was submitted by -bobby s. on 11-May-2003
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A little boy was riding his bicycle to school when a policeman stopped him.
"That's a nice bicycle you've got there," said the policeman. "Did Santa give it to you?"
"Yes," replied the little boy.
"Next time, could you ask Santa to put a red reflector on the back, because I'm going to give you a ticket."
The little looked at the policeman's horse, and said:
"Nice horse, did Santa give it to you?"
The policeman laughed, and said:
"Yes."
"Then next time could you ask him to put the dick UNDER the horse instead of ON it."
This joke was submitted by Finn on 21-Jan-2003
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The teacher says, "Today we're going to use the word fascinate in a sentence. Who wants to go first?" Several hands go up, including Little Johnny. He has a dirty mouth so she doesn't want to call him.
She calls on Suzie, who says "I went to the zoo yesterday and was fascinated by the lions."
The teacher says "Good, Suzie, but I want the word fascinate" and calls on Billy.
Billy says "I think a football game is fascinating."
The teacher says "Good Billy, but I want the word fascinate." By now, only Little Johnny's hand is up, so she has to call on him.
Johnny says, "My sister got a new sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big, she can only fascinate."
This joke was submitted by Pat on 10-Jan-2003
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| Little Johnny's father came to him one day and said, "It's time we had a talk about the birds and the bees." Little Johnny replied, "Oh no! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus then to tell me there's no Easter Bunny. If you're going to tell me there's no such thing as sex, I'll have noting to live for!"
This joke was submitted by Bob on 11-Dec-2002
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Little Johnny is in class when the teacher asks him to stand up in front of the class and give an example of association.
So he stands up and says three women are sitting on a park bench. two of them are eating peaches and one is eating a banana. Which one is not a lesbian?
The teacher, a little taken back, says the one eating the banana?
No the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think teacher!!!!
This joke was submitted by Robert on 19-Nov-2002
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little johnny walks into his mothers room and hears the word SHIT! johnny askes "What does that mean?"
his mother says " oh that means putting on makeup"little johnny walkes into his two brothers room, they were fighting and calling each other dicks and pussys
johnny askes "what does that mean"
and they said "it means hats and coats" little johnney walks into the kitchen and he hears the word FUCK!
johnny askes his dad "what does that mean" his dad says it means"stuffing the turkey"
then there was a knock on the door. johnny opens it . his aunt and uncle were there. johnny says to them " here let me take your dicks and pussys, moms upstairs putting shit on her face and dad's in the kitchen Fucking the turkey!
This joke was submitted by little Johhny on 20-Jun-2002
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| one day theres acouple of kids in a phycology class.then the teacher stands up and says to the class! stand up if u think you're stupid! after about 5 minutes little Johnny stood up and the teacher said do u think you're stupid little Johnny? No miss i just hate to see u standing there all by yourself!!!
This joke was submitted by john on 20-Jun-2002
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Little johnny was failing school so his
mom decided to put him in cathelic
school. So about a month later little johnny's mom recieved little johnnys report card he got all A's and B's
little johnny's mom asked"little johnny
how did you get all these good grades, Little johnny replied"well,when I saw the man hanging from the cross i knew they meant buissieness
This joke was submitted by matt ramey on 11-May-2002
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One day little Johnny came home from school and his mom bought him a new basketball, he went over to the new neighbors house and the little girl came out.Little Johnny said, m"my mommy bought me a new basketball, and youk cant have one"
The next day the little girl had a new basketball.
The next day after school Little Johnny's mommy bought him a new bike he took it over to the little girls house the little girl came out and Little Johnny said "ha ha mommy bought me a new bike and you cant have one".
The next day the little girl had a new bike.
So the next day after school little Johnny took the little girl out back, pulled down his pants and said " I got one of these and mommy said that you cant have one"
the little girl pulled up her skirt and said"mommy said as long as I have one of these i can have all those I want!
This joke was submitted by Sabrina on 22-Feb-2002
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one day a 3 person family decide to go to a nudist beach.The boy goes off then comes back to his mum and says mummy there are women with big boobs than you she says well the bigger they are the dumber they are.The boy goes off again and then comes back and says there are men with bigger willys then daddy on this beach the mum said well the bigger they are the dumber they are . The boy goes off once more then comes back and say mummy i saw daddy talking to the dumbest women on the beach and the more they talked the dumber he got.
This joke was submitted by jw broomfield school on 11-Feb-2002
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