President Bush,Al Gore and Bill clinton are in a airplane. Bill says: i want to make 5,000,000 people happy so he thowes 5,000,000 dollers out the window. Al says i want to make 10,000,000 happy so he throwes out 10,000,000 dollers out the window. Bush says i want to make the world happy so he pushes Al and Bill out the window.
This joke was submitted by Patrick And Connor on 30-Apr-2003
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| Three little boys are hanging out one day bragging about their dads. The first little boy says, "My dad is so fast that he can shoot an arrow and then run and catch it before it hits its target." The second boy says, "That's nothing! My dad can fire a gun and then run and beat the bullet to the target." The third boy says, "You think that's fast? My dad works for the federal government. He gets off work at 5 o'clock every day but he's home by 3:00!"
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 23-Mar-2002
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This lady comes up to a sales man and said," my radio in my car won't work." The sales man says, "Well lady, this car is one of the most upgrated car. You just say what kind of song you want." So the lady says Micheal Jackson, the radio played Micheal Jackson, Britney Spears, the radio play Britney Spears. The lady says," thats great!" So the lady got on the road and all of a sudden, this guy cut her off. So she screams out, "You Fucking idiot." Then the radio starts playing a lecture from George Bush!
This joke was submitted by Erika on 11-Sep-2001
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BIRDS
To tag birds migrating, the U.S. Department of the Interior used metal bands that bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv. Until the agency received the following letter from a camper: Dear Sirs,
While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible!
This joke was submitted by Cagey on 10-Nov-2000
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| Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. "T-Square, do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation, and went home on sick leave.
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000
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