Jim and bob have been golfing for 20 years together, every time jim and bob go golfing jim always cheats. So on the 7th hole bob asked what jim scored nowing the whole time he had 6 strokes jim said " i got a 4". Immediatley bob said you cheater and started swearing at Jim. Jim said i do not cheat and started swearing back and the two bantered back and forth for over 10 minutes so Jim finally took his club and beat Bob over the head 8 times and killed him. The police came and questioned Jim, " So sir" the police man asked "how many times did you swing your club at Bob", "8" said Jim actually put me down for a 3"
This joke was submitted by $matt$ on 21-Mar-2003
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One summer day matt went golfing as he was golfing a man in front of him was slowing him down. So matt asked if he could maybe play with him the man said yes. Matt said I am a dentist what do you do and Rob said I am a hitman. Matt said no your not, so rob went to his bag and pulled out a sniper rifle. Matt looked into the scope and saw his house on the golf course, and he saw his wife in the bedroom with another man. Matt said to the hitman to take both of them out. Rob said it is $1,000 per bullet. Matt said shoot my wife in the mouth because she talks to much and shoot the man in the penis. Rob said that will be $2,000. So Rob looked into the scope and said I think I can save you $1,000 dollars.
This joke was submitted by $matt$ on 21-Mar-2003
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What is the difference between a man playing golf, and a man taking Viagra?
The man playing golf wants a hole in one. The man taking Viagra wants one in a hole.
This joke was submitted by Chris Sheppard on 25-Nov-2002
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A woman tells her golf instructor about her last golf outing and mentions that she was stung by a bee.
The instructor asks, "Where did it sting you?"
"Between the first and second hole," she replies.
"Hmmmmmm," he ponders,"I think your stance is a bit too wide."
This joke was submitted by A. Nonimus on 11-Sep-2002
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A father was taking his son out on the golf course for the very first time. They tee off and the father hooks one into the woods. Slamming his club into the bag and quickly remembering son was by his side he paused before he commenting on his ardent shot; “Damn” he says, while proceeding off the tee and down the fairway the son turns to him and asked , “Dad, why do they call in golf?” The father replied “because all of the other four letter words had been used.”
This joke was submitted by Thomas Harte on 19-Apr-2002
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Q. why do golfers say fore after they
hit the ball
A. cause they can't count any higher
This joke was submitted by steven griggs on 18-Apr-2002
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A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady
playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."
He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."
Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, "Let me buy
you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession.
I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"
She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."
"No, I won't."
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh."
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied."I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you."
This joke was submitted by Paul on 22-Mar-2002
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one day a wife asks her husband "if i died would you ever get remarried?" he said
"well yes, i suppose i would." then she asks " if i died would she sleep in our bed?" he said " well yes, no point in wasting a perfectly good bed." then she asks " would she use my golf clubs?"
he says "no, shes a lefty"
This joke was submitted by iluvrobby on 20-Jun-2001
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| There where two woman golfing and one of them hit the ball and it hit a guy. She seen him holding his hand between his legs so she rubbed where he had his hand and she said "how does that feel?" He says that feels fine but my hand hurts like heck!
This joke was submitted by bradley mullins on 28-May-2001
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Q. Why did the golfer bring two sets of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!
This joke was submitted by Adam Oehlhof on 23-Nov-2000
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