One day a farmer was having problems with his cow. She was constipated. Well he called the vet. and he came over. The farmer said " she's constipated, is there anyway you could help her?" So he inspected her and then said" she has something stuck in her rectum. I believe I can blow it out. So he pulls out a tube and sticks it in the cows bet and blows. wel she started pooping again. well later on that day she wasn't pooping so he called the vet. He came said " I'll get me tube. So he got it and stuck it n the cow's but and blew. Didn't work so he done it again still didn't work. So the farmer said let me try. well he took the tube from the end the farmer was blowing and stuck it in the cows but. The vet asked what are you doing that end has been in the cows but he said" I know did you think I was going to put my mouth where yours has been?"
This joke was submitted by anonymous on 18-Jan-2003
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?'
A: To get to the other side!Q2: Why did the farmer cross the road?
A2: Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
This joke was submitted by Ryan Proulx on 2-Dec-2001
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| Common Phrase Use in Agricultural Planting....... "Go wack the weed with yur sister down
yonder"
This joke was submitted by David Gamez on 1-Mar-2001
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One day Little Red Riding Hood decides she's going to see grandma. Little red's mother told her, "You be careful Little Red. You know the Big Bad Wolf told you he was going to pull up your little red dress, pull down your little
red panties and screw your little red socks off.
Little Red, Holding her picnic basket pulled out her shot gun and said, Don't you worry mother I'm not afraid of that wolf. So down the road she goes.
In the middle of the woods Little Red meets up with the three little pigs.
Little Red, you better hide they said. The Big Bad Wolf is looking for you and
he said, "He's going to pull up your little red dress, pull down your little
red panties and screw your little reds socks off!"
Once again Little Red pulls out her shot gun and assures the three little
pigs she will be just fine. So on she goes.
Now in the middle of the forest Little Red meets the Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf says, "Little Red, I'm going to
pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off.
Little Red pulls out her shot gun, aims at the Wolf and replies, "Oh no your not. Your going to eat me just like the story says!"
This joke was submitted by Darlene on 12-Feb-2001
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How do you get a deaf person to buy a chicken? DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN?
This joke was submitted by anon on 27-Aug-2000
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There were these three girls and they all liked this one guy. So one day the guy's father said who ever can jump over the barbwire fence, swim through the pond of flesh eating fish, and suck the bulls balls can marry my son. So the first girl tries to jump over the fence, but she falls and gets hurt. The second girl jumps over the fence and tries to swim through the pond of fish but she gets eaten by the fish. The third girl jumps over the fence, swims through the pond of fish and sucks the bulls balls. So the father says to the third girl you did what I asked and now you get to marry my son. The girl says I don't want your son, I want the bull.
This joke was submitted by blue on 17-May-2000
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A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 14-Jan-2000
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| A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000
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| A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads "Warning! One of these watermelons contains cyanide!" The farmer returns a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads, "Now there are two!"
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000
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