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Engineers

This is the Engineers humor section where all the jokes are funny!





A driller, geologist and an engineer are all sentenced to death by guillotine. The driller is up first. They put his head in and asked if he had any last words, he said no. The pulled the cord and nothing happened. He was set free as if the guillotine don't work you are free to go. Next up is the geologist. They put his head in and asked if he had any last words, he said no. The pulled the cord and nothing happened. He was set free as if the guillotine don't work you are free to go. Finally the engineer is put into the guillotine and asked if he has any last words. He says yes....if you adjust the spring and tighten the screw this thing will work...

This joke was submitted by John Muller on 17-Mar-2002

An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was. All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this.

The physics student went out, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator, and some friends. He had them all time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk.

The math student waited until the sun was going down, then she took out her protractor, plumb line, measuring tape,and scratch pad, measured the length of the shadow, found the angle the buildings roof made from the ground, and used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building.

Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for other courses' exams. These two students bumped into the engineering student the next day, who looked quite refreshed. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied:

"Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and went inside for happy hour!"

This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000


Three freshman engineering students were sitting around one day arguing about who might've designed the human body. The first one said, "It must've been a mechanical engineer. The human body has all those levers and pivots and stuff - a mechanical engineer must have designed all that."

The second one said, "No, it had to have been an electrical engineer. The complex way the nerves are wired up to the brain must have been designed by an electrical engineer."

Then the third one said, "No, it was a civil engineer. Who else would have run a waste water line through a recreational area?"

This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 2-Jan-2000






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