| "Doctor Doctor I am going to die in 59 seconds!" "Okay I'll be with you in a minute"
This joke was submitted by thejoker_peter on 3-Apr-2001
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Doctor ,doctor! I think I need glasses!
You certainly do, madam. This is a fish and chip shop.
This joke was submitted by Kevin Teeling on 3-Apr-2001
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Q. What does viagra and disney have in
common? A. You wait 45 minutes for a 3 minute ride.
This joke was submitted by stitchezzz on 18-Feb-2001
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Did you hear they've finally come up with the generic name for Viagra? It's called Mycoxaflopin.
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 7-Oct-2000
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| Doctor! Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together, lad.
This joke was submitted by Katie lang on 21-May-2000
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A man visits his doctor to complain about the Viagra tablets he was given. "I took one last night without water", he said, "and it stuck in my throat, this morning I woke up with a stiff neck!"
This joke was submitted by drifter on 6-Apr-2000
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on:
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in with, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 14-Jan-2000
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A medical student was on call in a small clinic. He comes to this guy with a cork in his ass. The student pulls the cork out and he hears "...on the road again". Then he puts the cork back in and pulls it out again and hears "...seein' places that i've never been". So the student is absolutely shocked and he runs throught the clinic to find his professor. He finally finds him and says "Professor... Professor... come quick, you have got to see this". So he brings the professor over to the man and pulls the cork and they both hear "...on the road again". The doctor thinks for a second, nods, then walks away. So the student goes "Professor, where are you going... this is amazing!" The professor stops and says "No, not really, any asshole can play country music."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 31-Dec-1999
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| The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 30-Dec-1999
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| A man goes to the doctor and he finds out that he is very ill and only has a few weeks to live. He can't believe it and starts asking the doctor, "What can I do?" The Doctor says that unfortunatly it is too late and he should concentrate on getting his affairs in order. "There must be something!", the man says, "What about radiation, chemotherapy... I'm a tough guy!" The doctor again says that there is nothing they can do for him and he should concentrate on the time he has left. The man, however, is beside himself and will not give up, "Doc, please, what about experimental treatments? I'm not leaving until you give me something!" At this point the doctor finally says, "OK, if I were you I'd take my wife up to the wine country and go to one of those spas that they have and take a mud bath." Now the guy really can't believe it. "A mud bath?" he says. "If radiation won't work, chemo won't work, what is a mud bath supposed to accomplish?" "Well", replies the Doctor, "It will at least get you used to dirt."
This joke was submitted by Anonymous on 29-Dec-1999
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