Answer: A hole, brainiac!

Question 2: You are traveling on an electric train north. The wind is headed south, against you. You make two 45 degree left-turns. The wind doesn't change directions, and the track doesn't twist. When you're about to stop at your destination, what direction is the smoke from the train blowing, if the wind speed is stronger than the train's speed?

Answer: Nowhere. An electric train doesn't blow steam.

Question 3: You and your family drive from your home in South Carolina (which is a state on the east coast for those of you who aren't familiar with the location of states in our country) to the beach. That takes you about an hour, as you don't live too far away. You and your family sit on the beach, waiting for the sunset. It doesn't come. There is nothing blocking your view of the ocean. You don't look the other way or close your eyes. There isn't some once-in-a-blue-moon eclipse or something that is affecting the sunset. Why don't you see it?

Answer: The sun sets in the west for those of you checking your compases.

Here's just some jokes: (about blondes) (so they must be blonde jokes) (blondes beware) (I guess that includes me-I better not read what's ahead!)

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde have been senteced to death. They devise a plan as a distraction to get away. They have decided that each distraction will be of a natural cause, such as an earthquake. The red-head was told to stand still on a stage and wait to be shot. A marshal told a man with a gun, "Ready, aim..." The red-head quickly screamed, pointing behind the marshal, "Flood!" Distracted, the marshal looked towards the place indicated while the red-head got away. The brunette was up next. The marshal instructed the man with the gun, "Ready, aim..." The brunette quickly hollered, "Twister!" Again distracted, the marshal turned away while the brunette escaped. The blonde was last. The marshal said to the man with the gun, "Ready, aim..." "Fire!" The blonde screamed.

In need of cash for her convertible, a blonde decided to kiddnap a child. She found one in a candy store, and told him to come with her. The child did what they were told. The blone asked her father for 50,000 dollars for her car, when secretly she was using it as ransom money. She gave the money to the child along with a note that said, 'if this money is not returned, I will take it as a ransom for your child. I'll be back to pick up the money tomorrow.' She took the child back to the candy store and left him there with the money and the note. The next day, the blonde went back there to find the money and a note with the child. The child said, "My mom wanted me to give these to you." The child then left the candy store and went home. The money was all there and the note said, 'How could you do this to a fellow blonde?'

Three blonde girls were trying to cross a river. They came across a magic lamp. At one time, all three of them rubbed it, and a genie came out. "I will grant one wish for each of you," she said mystifully. One girl wished that she could be twice as smart as she was now. The genie granted her wish and the blonde girl swam across the river and made it to the other side. The second girl wished that she could be ten times as smart as she was then. That blonde took a boat across the river. The third blonde wanted to be a million time smarter than she was right then. She took the bridge.

Now a not so offensive joke:

Three men had discovered a magic-8 ball and each asked it 'will we die tomorrow' and it kept saying 'signs point to no.' They all died the next day. In heavan, the fait god, Alexandria, said that they weren't supposed to die. She told them, "You cannot go back to earth as yourselves, because everyone thinks you are dead. But since you weren't supposed to die, I'll let you go back as something other than a human." She told them to jump off the cloud they were on, and shout the first thing that came to mind. The first man jumped off and shouted "Horse!" He turned into a horse on earth and galloped away. The next man shouted "Cat!" as he plumeted down to earth. Next thing he knew, he was a loveable house pet. The last man was a little nervous to jump. When he accidently tripped on a rain drop in the cloud, he fell. "$&!%" he shouted. You can guess what happened.

Submitted by Jessica McFunny